diff --git a/tests/e2e/conftest.py b/tests/e2e/conftest.py
new file mode 100644
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+++ b/tests/e2e/conftest.py
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+"""Shared e2e test fixtures.
+
+The most important fixture here is ``_disable_telemetry_for_e2e``, which
+eliminates a long-standing source of flakiness in the retry tests.
+
+Background
+----------
+The retry tests in ``tests/e2e/common/retry_test_mixins.py`` patch urllib3
+*globally* (``HTTPSConnectionPool._get_conn`` / ``._validate_conn``) and assert
+that the connection's own request was retried exactly N times (e.g.
+``assert call_count == 6``). The connector's telemetry feature is a
+process-global singleton (``TelemetryClientFactory``) with a shared
+``ThreadPoolExecutor`` and a daemon periodic-flush thread. Every ordinary e2e
+test (``test_dates``, ``test_decimals``, ...) opens a connection with telemetry
+enabled by default, which leaves a real ``TelemetryClient`` plus background
+threads/futures registered in that global factory.
+
+Under pytest-xdist, those ordinary tests run in the SAME worker process as the
+retry tests. When a retry test installs its global urllib3 mock, an in-flight
+or subsequently-fired telemetry POST to ``/telemetry-ext`` from a *previous*
+test's lingering client goes through the same mocked pool and inflates the
+mock's ``call_count`` past the expected value -> flaky ``AssertionError``. CI
+logs confirm ``/telemetry-ext`` retries appearing *inside* the failing retry
+test even after that test's own connection disabled telemetry.
+
+Fix
+---
+Disable telemetry for *every* e2e connection (not just the retry tests) by
+force-installing ``NoopTelemetryClient`` for the duration of each test. With no
+real ``TelemetryClient`` ever created in the worker, there are no background
+telemetry threads/futures to leak into any test's urllib3 mock. This removes
+the flake at its source deterministically, rather than trying to drain racy
+background threads.
+
+The telemetry suite (``tests/e2e/test_telemetry_e2e.py``) is the one place that
+asserts real telemetry behavior; it is marked ``@pytest.mark.serial`` and
+manages its own ``TelemetryClientFactory`` state, so this fixture explicitly
+skips ``serial``-marked tests.
+"""
+
+import pytest
+
+from databricks.sql.telemetry.telemetry_client import (
+    NoopTelemetryClient,
+    TelemetryClientFactory,
+    _TelemetryClientHolder,
+)
+
+
+def _drain_telemetry_factory():
+    """Hard-reset the process-global telemetry factory: close clients, stop the
+    flush thread, shut the executor down, and clear all state."""
+    with TelemetryClientFactory._lock:
+        for holder in list(TelemetryClientFactory._clients.values()):
+            try:
+                holder.client.close()
+            except Exception:
+                pass
+        try:
+            TelemetryClientFactory._stop_flush_thread()
+        except Exception:
+            pass
+        if TelemetryClientFactory._executor is not None:
+            try:
+                TelemetryClientFactory._executor.shutdown(wait=True)
+            except Exception:
+                pass
+        TelemetryClientFactory._clients = {}
+        TelemetryClientFactory._executor = None
+        TelemetryClientFactory._initialized = False
+
+
+@pytest.fixture(autouse=True)
+def _disable_telemetry_for_e2e(request, monkeypatch):
+    """Force every e2e connection to use NoopTelemetryClient so no real
+    telemetry background work runs in the worker process.
+
+    Skipped for ``serial``-marked tests (the telemetry suite), which assert
+    real telemetry behavior and manage their own factory state.
+    """
+    if request.node.get_closest_marker("serial") is not None:
+        # Let the telemetry suite exercise real telemetry.
+        yield
+        return
+
+    # Clear any real telemetry state left by an earlier test in this worker,
+    # then make all subsequent telemetry initialization a no-op.
+    _drain_telemetry_factory()
+
+    def _install_noop(*args, host_url=None, **kwargs):
+        host_url = TelemetryClientFactory.getHostUrlSafely(host_url)
+        with TelemetryClientFactory._lock:
+            TelemetryClientFactory._clients[host_url] = _TelemetryClientHolder(
+                NoopTelemetryClient()
+            )
+
+    monkeypatch.setattr(
+        TelemetryClientFactory,
+        "initialize_telemetry_client",
+        staticmethod(_install_noop),
+    )
+
+    try:
+        yield
+    finally:
+        # Leave the factory clean for the next test regardless of what ran.
+        _drain_telemetry_factory()