diff --git a/benches/static-file-handler.bench.ts b/benches/static-file-handler.bench.ts
index 9d4d900d1..f6645195f 100644
--- a/benches/static-file-handler.bench.ts
+++ b/benches/static-file-handler.bench.ts
@@ -1,18 +1,62 @@
 import type { StandardLazyRequest } from '@standard-server/core'
+import type { Stats } from 'node:fs'
 import { Buffer } from 'node:buffer'
-import { mkdirSync, mkdtempSync, writeFileSync } from 'node:fs'
-import { tmpdir } from 'node:os'
 import path from 'node:path'
+import { Readable } from 'node:stream'
 import { StaticFileHandlerPlugin } from '@orpc/node'
 import { RPCHandlerCodec, StandardHandler } from '@orpc/server/standard'
 import { bench } from 'vitest'
-import { drainBody } from './__shared__/payloads'
 
-const rootDir = mkdtempSync(path.join(tmpdir(), 'orpc-static-file-bench-'))
+/**
+ * CodSpeed measures a single call, so files are served from memory: real fs calls hop through the
+ * libuv thread pool and the event loop, which lets thread scheduling and unrelated callbacks
+ * (like vitest's worker IPC) land in the measurement and flip results between runs.
+ * The shared payloads are not imported either, since building them changes how much V8 compilation
+ * lands in the first measured call.
+ */
+vi.mock('node:fs', async importOriginal => ({ ...await importOriginal<typeof import('node:fs')>(), createReadStream }))
+vi.mock('node:fs/promises', async importOriginal => ({ ...await importOriginal<typeof import('node:fs/promises')>(), stat, realpath }))
 
-writeFileSync(path.join(rootDir, 'file.txt'), Buffer.alloc(10 * 1024, 'a'))
-mkdirSync(path.join(rootDir, 'deeply', 'nested', 'dir'), { recursive: true })
-writeFileSync(path.join(rootDir, 'deeply', 'nested', 'dir', 'file.txt'), Buffer.alloc(10 * 1024, 'a'))
+const rootDir = path.resolve('/static')
+const mtime = new Date('2024-01-01T00:00:00.000Z')
+
+const files = new Map([
+  [path.join(rootDir, 'file.txt'), Buffer.alloc(10 * 1024, 'a')],
+  [path.join(rootDir, 'deeply', 'nested', 'dir', 'file.txt'), Buffer.alloc(10 * 1024, 'a')],
+])
+
+function notFound(filePath: string): Error {
+  return Object.assign(new Error(`ENOENT: no such file or directory, '${filePath}'`), { code: 'ENOENT' })
+}
+
+async function stat(filePath: string): Promise<Stats> {
+  const content = files.get(filePath)
+
+  if (content === undefined) {
+    throw notFound(filePath)
+  }
+
+  return { size: content.length, mtime, isFile: () => true, isDirectory: () => false } as Stats
+}
+
+async function realpath(filePath: string): Promise<string> {
+  if (filePath !== rootDir && !files.has(filePath)) {
+    throw notFound(filePath)
+  }
+
+  return filePath
+}
+
+function createReadStream(filePath: string, { start = 0, end = Infinity }: { start?: number, end?: number } = {}): Readable {
+  const chunk = files.get(filePath)!.subarray(start, end + 1)
+
+  return new Readable({
+    read() {
+      this.push(chunk)
+      this.push(null)
+    },
+  })
+}
 
 const handler = new StandardHandler(new RPCHandlerCodec({}, {}), {
   plugins: [new StaticFileHandlerPlugin({ rootDir })],
@@ -27,6 +71,14 @@ function createRequest(url: `/${string}`, headers: Record<string, string> = {}):
   }
 }
 
+async function drainBody(body: unknown): Promise<void> {
+  const reader = (body as ReadableStream<Uint8Array>).getReader()
+
+  while (!(await reader.read()).done) {
+    // discard the chunk
+  }
+}
+
 const { response } = await handler.handle(createRequest('/file.txt'), { context: {} })
 await drainBody(response!.body)
 const etag = response!.headers.etag as string